Winter Sucks!

Top 5 reasons I hate winter:

1. It never snows!
In the South, snow is a treat. Give us half an inch, and productive activity (i.e. school, work) will cease for a week. Some people may say that this is because we are too wimpy to face a little snow, but au contraire (or however you spell that funny French word), it is because we crave it so much! You should see our weather forecasters. If there's a two percent chance of snow on the other side of the country, they will convince you it means snowpocalypse (or however you spell that funny - um - Englishish word). We NEED MORE SNOW!!!
2. It is oh so fickle.
I'm telling you, people, it can be snowing one day, seventy degrees the next, and sleeting the day after that. Winter has bipolar disorder.
3. Freezing rain.
It thinks it oh so slick (*cough*badpun). You walk out and it's raining and you think, "oh, rain". But no. This is not just rain. This is rain of DOOM! Frozen version of hail and brimstone. It has been the cause of countless slips and injuries to its hapless victims (myself).
4. Undefined boundaries.
I have never figured out when winter officially ends, and when it begins. This may be another symptom of living in the South, though. Down here, winter starts getting serious about itself around November (sometimes). But it's the ending that always bothers me. I don't even know when winter is officially supposed to end. It seems that whenever we get a good warm spell, and the flowers start popping out, and the children stagger out of their winter video game caves, the weather decides to go all psycho on us. Either tornadoes, or hard freezes. Sometimes both. Yes, that sucks. I mean, when is this winter going to end!? It's like Aslan and the White Witch are in some sort of epic smack-down. And what is the deal with that groundhog!? Always getting our hopes worked up for nothing.
5. Holiday hogging
Winter is apparently jealous as well. It seems all the best holidays cluster around the worst part of the year. Of course that may be because whoever invented the holidays felt sorry for us. That's why Christmas is on Christmas! It's not catering to pagans; it's a desperate attempt to cheer up a cheerless season.

Oh winter, oh winter! You have worn out your welcome like those dwarves that kept showing up on Bilbo Baggins' doorstep, and ate all his food, and wouldn't leave. Leave already! Go back to the Southern hemisphere where you came from! And take all this candy I still have left over from all your stupid holidays with you!