Snails

The internet sucks. Not the Internet, that wonderful entity that enriches our lives with instant communication, entertainment, and information; but rather my internet connection. The university has decided to experiment with it, and when the university decides to experiment with anything results are never as one would wish. The internet connection was really lame last year too, but at least it worked somewhat faster than evolution. In an attempt to improve internet speed the university decided to go to a new provider, and to split the connection among multiple networks across campus. In theory this would lighten the load of each, making connection faster.
No. A whole week has passed and I still have to walk to the library in the dark to publish my blog. I know, I know, all you old fogies are rolling your eyes at me. “Why in my day,” you say, “I had to walk to the library in the dark twenty miles uphill each way with a hundred pound book bag on my back and then dig through actual books for my curricular needs. Take that, ya wimp!”
Well let me inform you that this is the 21st century and we expect instant service in everything. I’m surprised they haven’t come up with drive-through church – the presence of the Spirit in ten minutes guarantee or your money back. We have a need for speed!
And so, waiting ten minutes for an internet page to load is unthinkable. What is the world coming to! Soon I’ll have to go out and actually hunt down the food I eat. Ridiculous.