I'm Not George Wallace, I Promise

This past Sunday I went to the Civil Rights Institute.  I'd always wanted to go, but only found out recently that it's free on Sundays.  Oh yeah.  You know me and free stuff. 
So I guess I've been thinking a bit about race relations.  Yes.  This is about to get heavy. 
I've met people who hold to ideologies on the spectrum from "blacks and whites should never marry" to "there's no such thing as race".  Both of which are kind of iffy statements.  As for me - well I'm working on it. 
Which is OK.  I think part of the problem with our multiracial society is that we're kind of terrified of the thought of having honest discussions concerning the subject.  Especially white people.  As a whitey, my defenses kinda go up when I hear people start talking about race relations.  I mean, hey, don't blame me for social injustices just because I'm white; I wasn't alive in the 1930s,60s etc., thank you very much.  And on the other hand, I'm always afraid I'm going to offend somebody if I talk about racism.  After all, I've never been a victim of racism; what gives me the authority to talk abou it?  Then there's the last corner of my triangle of discomfort:  I will admit that I've kind of sometimes maybe a little bit thought some racist thoughts myself.  I'm a student at one of the most liberal universities in my state, living in the full swing of the 21st century, and coming in constant contact with a wide range of highly intelligent and morally upstanding people of all variety.  And here I am, driving through a certain part of town, feeling like George Wallace!  Alright, not that bad.  But still! 
So what I want to know is, when are we as a society going to get to a point where I can discuss these uncertainties with an African-American without having to feel like an evil, bigotted person.  I'm tired of feeling awkward around black people!  So if you have any suggestions for dealing with insecurities about race, please let me know.