It's a Free Sample!

I love free samples!  I do.  I have to admit it: I'm a moocher (hope that's spelled right).  I will go out of my way in WalMart just to see if they have free samples in the doughnut section (raspberry holes - irresistible).  I feel no shame in asking for multiple taste-it spoons as the frozen yogurt place.  I get inordinately excited about those gratis mints they keep around in banks and dentist offices.  Yes, if it's edible and it's free, then you have won my whole-hearted support.  Sorry I can't offer more in the spending department, but I'm really a real fan now!   
Yesterday was definitely my lucky day.  In the morning I was at Barnes and Nobles, and guess what they had sitting on the front door display.?  You're wrong!  They didn't have free books.  They had free mocha milkshake samples.  I about start singing.  In the middle of Barnes and Nobles.  They were big too; not those puny little samples they give you at yogurt stores, but a good, 2 or 3 ounces.  Then, at Sam's Club, I got more free stuff!  I love free stuff!  A fine young gentleman offered me a Gourmet Chef cheese knife.  All I had to do was listen to his lecture on how amazing all the other Gourmet Chef knives are.  I gladly attended; he was unusually animated (who would have thought Gourmet Chef steak knives could cut through elephant tusks).  I got a free knife and free entertainment at the same time.  I was psyched.  This was like, the best day of my life. 
So today I'm hoping for the same magnificent circumstances to occur.  I want everything to be a free sample!  If WalMart gave free samples of water, I would take it, and concur that it was the best water I had ever tasted.  I would take my free sample and slip covertly out the door.  Because that's how I roll; broke college students don't come to buy stuff, they come for free stuff.  Mentally noting to return someday when I have a well-established pay check, to reward their generosity with my business.