I am proud to say that I have, at last, left the ranks of the unemployed. Yes, I am now a working woman. Feel free to shower your congratulations upon me.
How, you may ask, have I chosen to begin my career? Well I shall tell you. I am now, officially, a porter at JC Penney's. It is certainly a position to be admired and appreciated by all who walk those shining floors.
Shining, of course, on my account. For it is I who devotes my efforts to carefully buffing that floor. It is I who spends untold hours diligently polishing those porcelain thrones. It is I who meticulously wipes every spot and blemish from mirrors and glass doors. It is I who removes the waste and grime and stench so that you, oh esteemed customer, might have a glorious shopping experience.
Ok, I have definitely been workin' at this janitor thing too long. It's only been a week and I'm already getting desperate. You have no idea how nasty some people are in the bathroom. And you don't even want to know what I've found in some of the garbage bins under the registers.
Just til Christmas, just til Christmas, I tell myself. But I can see no light at the the end of this tunnel. Wait, let me get out the Drano. Much better.
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